Survey Says...Part I

Studies and surveys on human behavior are unfailingly amusing, and can reveal some funny and scary things about us.  The following ones were compiled (probably painstakingly) in What They Know About You by journalist Bernard Asbell, a book that distracted me from my studies in the library one day.  (I don't want to get into trouble with the Copyright Cops, so let me say that I do not take any credit whatsoever for the studies listed below--they are paraphrased from the book.  The following are not direct quotes, but closely resemble the original text.  A complete citation is found below.)


EYE CONTACT

You converse with one or more strangers:  One person unwittingly speaks first and gazes at the other(s), establishing dominance through eye contact.  If both genders are present, the man usually "wins", as women generally avert their eyes when looked at by a man.  If a woman tries to establish "gaze dominance" over a man, he generally refuses to accept.

You converse with your spouse:  The more comfortable you are in your marriage, the less you look at your spouse.  If you are uncomfortably married, you and your spouse look at each other more frequently, presumably "monitoring" each other's reactions.

You are a male jogger:  If you jog past a young woman on a park bench who is facing your running path, you will speed up your pace significantly even if she's not looking at you.  If her back is turned to you, you'll maintain your speed.

BODY TALK

You tell someone to drop dead:  If you do so with even the faintest smile, your message will likely be read as humorous or affectionate in spite of your nasty words.  This doesn't work the other way around; non-verbal communication generally overrides the verbal kind.

TOUCHY, TOUCHY

You are chatting with a friend in a coffee shop:  If you are American, you and your friend will touch each other about twice an hour.  If you are British, you will not touch each other at all.  If you are French, you will touch each other 110 times an hour.  If you are Puerto Rican, you will touch each other 180 times an hour.  (If you are observing Puerto Ricans chatting, it would be easier to count the times they break physical contact with each other.)

SPACE, PLEASE

You live in a university dorm:  The more cramped you feel with your roommate(s), the less control you feel you have, in general, over other situations in your life.

You are a man in a public restroom:  You will wait longer to start urinating and stop sooner if the nearest...uh, peer...is fewer than three urinals away.

LOOKIN' GOOD

You are attractive and on trial for a crime:  If good looks were irrelevant to the crime (as in a burglary), the jury will likely let you off easier than an unattractive defendant.  If your good looks might have helped you in the crime, as in a con game or fraud, watch out.

You are a jury member in a rape trial:  Even based on the same facts, you're more likely to convict an unattractive man than an attractive one.  You're likely to give the convicted rapist a longer sentence when the female victim is attractive than when she is not.

You are a male juror in a rape trial:  If the (presumably female) victim appears sexy, your belief in her credibility lessens and you are more likely to believe she was responsible for the rape.

You are a female juror in the trial:  You have the opposite reaction to the situation above.

You are an attractive woman running for public office:  If you run against an unattractive woman with the same qualifications, you will probably lose, unless you are running for Congress, for some reason.

You are an attractive man running for public office:  If you run against an unattractive man with the same qualifications, you will probably win.

You are an attractive female student:  An essay you write will be more highly evaluated by your peers than the same essay written by an unattractive female student--but only if the essay is written on a traditionally "feminine" topic, like baking or quilting.  If the essay is about motorcycle repair, your unattractive female classmate will receive the better grade.

SWEET REVENGE

You are an unattractive man and always have been so:  You probably concentrated more on doing well in school, are more advanced in your education, married a highly educated woman, and enjoy a relatively prestigious career.

NOW, MAKE THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE PERMEATE THE DOMINANT CULTURE AND WE'LL ALL BE HAPPIER FOR IT

You are a woman:  You like your body less than others do and probably think you are fatter than men would prefer you to be.  Compared to your idea of how thin men like women to be, your idea of an ideal body weight is even less.  Men, however, often prefer women to be fatter than what women think men prefer, and much fatter than what women think is ideal.

ANY CRYING KID ON SANTA'S LAP COULD HAVE TOLD YOU

You are a man with a beard:  You scare children more often than a clean-shaven man.

The full citation, because--again--I take no credit for this:
Asbell, Bernard.  What They Know About You.  New York City, NY:  Random House, Inc., 1991.